Inimitable Goddess

Dear Nana,

Last night I was looking for an old essay that I'd written a few years back because I wanted to share it with you. In doing so, I found countless older pieces of writing that I'd left unfinished. Many, I'd simply forgotten. The one I share with you today is not the one I'd originally set out to find, but it seemed just the thing you'd like to read. Can you guess the recipient of my ardor? If anyone can, it is you...

Love Affair
Your passion for her is palpable the instant you meet. You marvel at her beauty—her superlative splendor. She glitters like a diamond and moves like a lynx. The vision of her intimidates. Her complexity daunts. But you can’t get her out of your mind. You’re drive to know her is overwhelming, despite your apprehension.

You study her and begin to see that she has a dual personality—at turns frantic and calm, challenging and effortless. When you are in her midst, she can make you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt before. Then, without warning, she can embrace you and make you feel that in her arms you’ve finally found the one place in the world you truly belong. She surprises you constantly. The moment you think you’ve memorized her face, the instant that you’re sure you’ve crossed every one of her avenues and turned all of her corners, she will prove you wrong. She will show you a side of her that you’ve never noticed. And even though it has been right before your eyes, somehow up until that moment, you’d missed it.

As you begin to feel comfortable with her, as she begins to whisper some of her secrets into your ear, your uncertainties about your compatibility are alleviated. Your mind eases because you’ve begun to decipher her intricacies. They are still alive, but you no longer fear them. You, instead, are drawn to them. They become the things about her that you most revere. And then one autumn evening as you walk alone down an empty street, crunching auburn leaves beneath your feet, you stop a moment. You inhale deeply and you find yourself thinking of her. You realize that you’ve been thinking of her the entire time you’ve been walking. And, it is then, at that instant, you know you are in love.

You don’t know how she did it. Somehow she lassoed your heart, this unpredictable entity that you may never fully understand. She’s taken root in your soul and won’t let go. Her grip on you is so strong that you surrender to it immediately. You are hooked. The love affair has begun.

Together you will traverse the rivers of emotion – from agony to joy. She will exhilarate you and bring you to levels of passion that you’d only heard about, but never known. She will enchant you with her beauty and you will flaunt her to those she’s just met. She will reinvent herself before your eyes and beg you to keep up with her, and you will. At least you will try, because you want to reinvent yourself, too. That is why you came to her.

She will constantly provoke you. She will test you and dare you to give up on her. And there will be moments that you almost do. There are times when you’ll look up at her and she will seem to tower over you, a menacing face looming overhead. But there will also be times that she’ll look at you with the eyes of child, willing you to frolic beside her. And despite the never-ending fluctuations of your relationship, despite the times you’ll wish for simplicity in place of this volatility, you will cherish every moment with her – every instance, from the thrilling to the infuriating. Because this is a love affair that might not last forever. After all, most don’t.

There will probably be others in your life who come after her. Certainly there were others who came before. But no one will ever be more unforgettable – no one else will leave an impression that will endure as hers will. Because there is no one else like her in the world. You will travel miles to find another. You will cross oceans and continents to find her match, but you will not, for she has no equal.


And when it is over, if it is over, you will look back on her with a profound sense of warmth, for no matter how many times she incensed you, she charmed you more. And those are the memories, should you leave her, that you will carry inside you forever.

She is a rare and inimitable goddess. She is New York City.



Inimitable. In Merriam-Webster's Dictionary the word carries this meaning: not capable of being imitated. Matchless. And that's what New York City is, after all. There is simply no place in the world quite like it. You would know. Your love affair with New York City lasted more than 90 years. And I believe mine will, too.



Love, Katie